Happiness

Well I've realized something today..and for as much as my pride would like to pretend that I'm perfectly incapable of making mistakes, I have to admit that I've been making some pretty big ones for quite a while now. What I've realized is that my life was perfect until I started searching for what was missing. When you really think about it, all of our lives are perfect until we strive for what we've convinced ourselves isn't there that should be. But the reality is that a perfect life is something that can only exist when you start saying and doing things whole heartedly. If you constantly follow your heart you'll find yourself doing the things that you love, surrounding yourself with the people who bring out the best in you and love you for it, and learning more about yourself with each passing day. During the time in which you're doing all of these things with all of these people is when you'll be lucky enough to remain oblivious to all of the things that you lack so that you are able to enjoy what you've embraced through a sense of true self fidelity that comes only from following your passions. That's what staying true to yourself is, following your passions. So, remain true to yourself, and don't waste your time being successful at something you hate when you could be a complete failure at something you love.

Summer Mindset

I'm finally back on my feet. It's summer in San Marvelous, I have a car that actually works, and rent is paid in full. I can literally do whatever I want! So why have I wasted so much time just sitting here? It's time for a change. I can't wait to go out and see what kind of occupational adventure awaits me for the rest of the summer. I want to step out of my comfort zone and really test my boundaries this summer. I'm determined to make a change for the better so that I can start the Fall semester on a good note. I'll take my music to the next level, I'll take my health to the next level, I'll take my fiscal responsibility to the next level, and most importantly I'll take my optimism and use it to push my life to the next level. Because baby, I'm movin' on up! Let the games begin :]

Dating

I love keeping my options open. For the longest time in 2010 i was obsessed with the idea of meeting a guy and rushing into a relationship, until it finally hit me one day that I'm in the prime of my youth and i should be having all the fun that I can manage while I still have time! One day I'm gonna meet the dime-iest dime piece on the planet and he's gonna love me just as much as i love him and we'll live happily ever after and all that jazz, i know this...so why the rush? It's going to happen eventually so in the meantime I might as well date as many guys as I want and enjoy this journey of love or lust of whatever you want to call it so that when that perfect man does decide to come around, I'll know I'm ready to take on the challenge. Did I mention that valentine's day stuff is starting to fill up the walmart shelves already? Single folks: don't be ashamed to be alone on V Day. Because, sometimes you're all the valentine you'll ever need. :)

Finding Yourself

My poor blog...it's been so lonely. I haven't posted any updates on here in about a month or so, maybe a little more. But, apparently that's far too long to let my blogspot collect dust because in the past month i've done more growing and self discovery than I have in the last 19 years altogether. Since the fire I've quit smoking cigarettes, which is easier said than done. I would totally recommend it for you too if you're a smoker. Because once you quit smoking you're motivated to ameliorate yourself in so many other aspects of your life. For example, I'm going to the gym now, going to work and getting that CHECK, taking school more seriously, and really just taking my SELF more seriously. It's so nice finding yourself...I mean really finding yourself. You know you've found yourself when you're finally ready to do things for yourself that you realize you probably should have been doing your whole life. Prioritizing, taking care of your body, and learning who your true loved ones are and showing them that you care every single day are things you'll find yourself doing when you find yourself. Another thing you'll discover is that you actually love yourself more than you could've ever imagined, because every decision you've made up to this point has lead to this awesome juncture in your life where the world is your oyster and no one can take charge of your life other than your damn self that you know and love. So to everyone, I wish you a happy 2011 and may you find yourself too, because once you do you'll find yourself living, REALLY living, for the first time in this tick tock life. :)

You can spark it up but ima put you OUT!

So Riley almost burnt down the roadhouse yesterday. (sorry riles) It was a total accident that could have gotten extremely out of hand and i'm eternally grateful that it didn't. But the story is actually pretty funny, so here it goes! So, as the other guys left to get cups and balls and nonalcoholic beers because we are minors of course, Riley and Hannah and myself were the only three left in the house and we started to make a fire in the fireplace. We actually had a pretty good fire going until I turned around and saw that Riles had taken it upon himself to pour some extra gasoline into the fire which ignited a stream of flames connecting the fire in the fireplace to the gas can in riley's hand sending him into a frenzy of desperate attempts to save both his ass, and his house. All I could see was a massive ring of fire surrounding him that was as tall as the ceiling and was sticking to the walls and even the living room floor. Basically the most horrific sight ever. While Riley and hannah went over to the sink to fill up pitchers of water and to scream loudly, I did my best to remain calm and baked and analyze the situation. Seeing that this was a gasoline fire, i figured if i would simply kill the fire at its source. I grabbed every towel in sight and threw my goofy bitchass on top of the flames putting them out one section at a time. The only thought that ever entered my head during all of this occured as i was passing the speakers plugged into the side of the wall that hadn't been ignited yet and i had no idea whether or not i should unplug them or not so i figured i better just put the damn fire out before i found out the hard way. Once the smoke cleared and the fire alarm stopped chirping, everyone came home just in time for nonalcoholic beer pong. Due to stress i threw up on the back porch a few hours later. oh yeah i forgot to tell you riles, there's some red puke by the pool and i didn't clean it. my bad.

omfg (oh my financial gods)

i went to the bank today, with 518 bucks to my name. that's how much rent costs. i went to go pay my rent with cash, and they don't accept cash, only checks and money orders. so i go to the bank to get a money order, but it costs three dollars. i don't have three dollars. i have zero. ha. i literally can't afford to use my own money and it's really kind of funny. funny enough to make me get off my lazy [bottom] and look for a job. Because it took this long for me to realize that i couldn't just "use a job", i actually need one and i'm more than ready to work. thank god :] now i just hope someone hires me for the holidays. 'tis the season, so give me a damn job santa! kthnx

my first blogalog

Well this is my first blog post. It's late, I'm a little tired, and i have no idea what to write about...so i guess I'll just talk about what's on my mind. i'm sure this blog is more for personal satisfaction than for others to keep up with. But anyone else who has enough interest in what i have to say to keep up with it as well is more than welcome to, and sounds awesome. ha. I feel like i've been doing some deep soul searching for almost a year now, and i'm finally beginning to reconnect with the parts of myself that i've let slip away over the past few years. it's as if i can finally feel again, and it's nice. Well, that's all i've got for tonight. Who knew this whole blogging thing could be so therapeutic?